Author Topic: The Freelance Raiders Handbook *Required Reading*  (Read 3426 times)

Dimbly

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The Freelance Raiders Handbook *Required Reading*
« on: September 28, 2015, 06:33:38 PM »
FREELANCE RAIDERS HANDBOOK


SICK DAYS
We will no longer accept a doctor or surgeon's statement as proof of sickness.  If you are able to go to the doctor or surgical theater, you are able to come to Raids.

PERSONAL DAYS
Each Raider will receive 104 personal days a year.  They are called Sunday and Monday.  Tuesday and Wednesday you will be expected to be improving key multi-binds and reclaiming experience from unwarranted and unauthorized deaths during raids.

FOOD BREAKS
Skinny people will be allowed 30 minutes prior to raid call to get food to bring to their desks as they need more to eat, so that they can look healthy.  Normal-sized people get 15 minutes prior to raid call to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.  Fat people (most of you) get 5 minutes prior to raid call as that's all the time that is needed to drink a Slim Fast.  Trips to the refrigerator during Wipe Recovery will only be condoned if said refrigerator is within arms-reach of your keyboard.

DKP BONUSES
It is advised you come to raids geared according to your Platinum & DKP holdings.  If we see you wearing your Burden of Truth helm, Ancient Cloak of Flames, clicking your Elder Holgresh Beads and bragging about your stack of 20 Kronos, we assume you are doing okay and therefore do not need a DKP bonus.

If you come poorly geared in your group armor, you need to learn to manage your DKP better so that you may bid on nicer items, and therefore you do not need a DKP bonus.

If you come geared in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a DKP bonus.


BEREAVEMENT LEAVE
There is no excuse for missing raids.  There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives, or co-workers.  Every effort should be made to have non-raiders attend to their final arrangements.  In rare cases where raider involvement or attendance becomes necessary, the funeral should be held during weeks when there are no raids scheduled.

RESTROOM USE
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom between wipes (no pun intended).  There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the bathroom in the event that such frivolities were not properly taken care of before Raid Call.  At the end of three minutes Furro has programmed an alarm to sound.  The toilet paper roll will retract, the bathroom door will open and a picture will be taken.  After your 2nd offense, your picture will be posted on forums under the thread "Chronic Offenders."



Thank you for your loyalty to our great team, Freelance Raiders.

Ssark

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Re: The Freelance Raiders Handbook *Required Reading*
« Reply #1 on: September 29, 2015, 12:24:59 AM »
FREELANCE RAIDERS HANDBOOK
RESTROOM USE
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom between wipes (no pun intended).  There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the bathroom in the event that such frivolities were not properly taken care of before Raid Call.  At the end of three minutes Furro has programmed an alarm to sound.  The toilet paper roll will retract, the bathroom door will open and a picture will be taken.  After your 2nd offense, your picture will be posted on forums under the thread "Chronic Offenders."

Furro will be the first picture posted.  Trust me on this one.

Also, what about Holidays?  I see no mention of the Holiday Policy.  IIRC, the Holiday Policy is that there are no holidays.

Dimbly

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Re: The Freelance Raiders Handbook *Required Reading*
« Reply #2 on: September 29, 2015, 03:06:59 AM »
What is this "holiday" you speak of?

Borean

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Re: The Freelance Raiders Handbook *Required Reading*
« Reply #3 on: October 23, 2015, 01:14:44 AM »
All holidays are celebrated on Sunday and Monday.